TF8T ep#79: Robert Hilliar (The Mind with 40 year Psychology vet)

Today we are joined by a 40-year psychology vet in Robert Hilliar. Robert Specialises in the human mind and making people's lives better. As a psychologist, he has been developing personal growth for people across the Australian Courts, Vietnamese veterans, and business leaders.

00;00;00;05 - 00;00;13;06
Unknown
Are you in love with yourself? Well, what a question that is. If you had asked me that ten years ago, I say, Oh, off you go walk out of the room. But now I can say, I mean, lots of wisdom.

00;00;13;23 - 00;00;33;18
Unknown
What's what was in love being intimate? I'm intimately connected with someone like an intimately connected. What is the difference between being in love and having love? Question, I'm glad you asked. Question, I'm glad you asked. I. How are we?

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Unknown
Did you enjoy that intro? We are back with another episode. And if you're watching this, you can see that I'm rug duckman. It's supposed to be summer in Sydney, but for some reason it is freezing cold man. It's cold.

00;00;56;13 - 00;01;29;00
Unknown
Sometimes I think Earth is just. Blowing. And blowing. And blowing. Or maybe it's just global warming. I thought about that global warming. It had to be global warming because it couldn't peak global cooling. That's too cool. You know what I mean?

00;01;30;10 - 00;01;54;08
Unknown
Thoughts I have. Anyways, this week we are joined by a special guest, this guest has been in this particular field for over 40 years. In his website, it reads I am a 70 year old psychologist who specializes in making people's lives better.

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Unknown
As a psychologist, I have been helping people personally grow and develop for about 40 years so far. These days, I help people connect their spirit so they can guide to the source so they can be guided to the source of their emotional blockages.

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Unknown
The goal is to help people resolve challenges permanent lay so that particular issues they are facing at the time can never arise again. His name is Robert Helyar, Robert Hilliard dot com dot a u. If you've been listening to episodes and you've you've heard, you know, the last, uh, couple of doctors that we had on, uh, discuss

00;02;46;22 - 00;03;12;04
Unknown
things in a very scientific manner. This one, I urge you to open your mind. As initially, we begin to discuss things that are outside of the norm. And it's about going into past lives. Now, I'm I'm only getting accustomed to these things now.

00;03;12;13 - 00;03;40;05
Unknown
I was never even a star sign guy. You know what I mean? I I. Yeah, I'm I've always been this like analytical person. Now, I've always had a belief in the source, but I've never had this understanding, I've always thought that this understanding of going into past lives, I've always thought that hypnosis was a bunch of bullshit

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Unknown
as well. Um, I don't know how people get hypnotized. I'd love to speak to one of those types of people that do the hypnosis. I don't even know what they called, but. Keep an open mind. I have an open mind.

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Unknown
I really like what he's doing. He's the only one of his field currently doing this with that much experience in a practical sense. And I'm super excited for this episode. Before we get there, we want to give a shout out to our sponsors.

00;04;22;25 - 00;04;48;28
Unknown
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Unknown
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Unknown
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00;05;29;03 - 00;05;46;19
Unknown
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00;05;47;07 - 00;06;14;10
Unknown
Loan options don't I slash 58 f i v e the No. eight. Now, let's get into the episode. It's amazing to have you guys here again. And we're back to our regular schedule of every Wednesday morning. Love you guys.

00;06;14;11 - 00;06;42;07
Unknown
Let's do it. You are listening to episode 79 of the five, 880. Remember to eat liver untenable. Yeah, and in order to get this off, my great New Zealand joke saying with saying is, you know, the old thing is what time they have, they have dinner at night.

00;06;42;08 - 00;07;08;16
Unknown
They say, Oh, 6:00 time they have been don't want the recipe that I love. So good. So good. Yeah, I started doing a dove into your YouTube channel in May. I got to say absolutely amazing what you discuss and what you're bringing to light.

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Unknown
Personally, I think it's absolutely fantastic and I definitely appreciate what you do for the listeners who aren't too familiar with your work. You bring together spirituality in psychology. So you use to my understanding you're using tarot and other spiritual tools with the basis of psychology.

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Unknown
Can you can you break that down and give a little history on how how you got there and the amazing work that you do? Look, I'll break it down, and I'm not going to tell. The story won't be too long, but that's when I was two years old.

00;07;44;07 - 00;07;57;16
Unknown
I was two years old. I broke my leg and it was my right leg. And as a result of that, my right leg didn't grow well. It was in plaster. And so, so then I grab all my life with one leg of it.

00;07;57;16 - 00;08;14;23
Unknown
Sure, I never wear a wedge in my in one of my shoes. Yeah, the right one, of course. So grip. But what I didn't know was, but as of as I'm growing up, therefore I've favoring one side of my body without really realizing it.

00;08;14;23 - 00;08;36;23
Unknown
And that is also the neurological development. It was both affected as well. So I've come up very, very right brain because, you know, it's like the same to me. The right brain is really, really overdeveloped and the right brain is all about spirituality, intuition, feelings and all that sort of stuff.

00;08;37;07 - 00;08;53;18
Unknown
It's almost like the feminine side in psychology. So I'm growing up there. And then when I started doing so psychology, I didn't realize, Oh, so right, Brian. But I know, as well as studying, I was having lots of, you know, lots of difficulty of getting it all.

00;08;53;18 - 00;09;06;27
Unknown
But God was such a struggle. Go through all the information. Remember all those names. But when it came out in the field doing it, I could just I could just do it. It just used to happen. I just just got totally think I could just do it, you know?

00;09;06;27 - 00;09;25;23
Unknown
And and I realized that, you know, later on, I'd do workshops with my wife and I and she and my wife and all this great planning for me. And I just run this workshop in three days and sometimes I would go to the play and she'd get upset.

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Unknown
So I did a lot of work for you. You didn't use any of my ideas. No, it's okay. But it was there. It was there. So it can be confidence to go and do what I wanted to do.

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Unknown
And the workshops are all very good, very highly regarded, very robust, had lots of demand for them. But what I didn't realize is through all this time, I was being very, very spiritual in that that I just thought it was just there.

00;09;47;17 - 00;10;02;12
Unknown
I just thought we never said, would have you say to say yes? And then I was the third. I got a phone call from a psychic who was also a client of mine that was down for 20 years.

00;10;02;12 - 00;10;19;01
Unknown
We get to get in contact. And then, she said, because she never brings anybody. She said, Oops, Alawis, my new spirit guide. Talk to give you a call. Oh, okay. What about it? I don't know, it's probably give you a call.

00;10;19;28 - 00;10;38;29
Unknown
So good. So we start talking and talking and then she's a nurse. So I said, Well, I do have a client who's is she's got a real big, big difficulty with mold, a mold problem. And personally, I think she's going to die.

00;10;39;00 - 00;10;54;05
Unknown
And I don't know. I don't know where to go with it. Right. I said so I've used it, the regions that didn't suggest don't go and do a reading with it, she said. Yes, OK, so I got to call the clients to define this.

00;10;54;19 - 00;11;11;19
Unknown
This person had been clear. Caller, you're clear, had been shifting house every three or four days because every time she got the house a bit too much small, she was at around a house, going from house to house to house.

00;11;11;26 - 00;11;32;20
Unknown
Her husband was home, looking after, after the house and and just moving, moving, moving, moving, moving. And she'd been seeing Metro Pass and seeing all these people. Nothing was working. So when gave a reading and we gave the reading and suddenly the reading takes us back B.C. times to 3000 B.C..

00;11;33;29 - 00;11;55;10
Unknown
Whoa, sorry. Scientific psychology. This is getting a bit much. So we go back to that week and we go back to a life where we cut a long story short. She's been. She'd been thrown into a dungeon which was very damp and very moldy, and she died of mold investor in gestation, which is a very painful, awful

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Unknown
death. So this is this is getting pretty trippy. And meanwhile, I've also gone and seen her family and they said, Whoa, so bad that she can't come back here and you can't come back. The boat can't do it.

00;12;07;11 - 00;12;27;23
Unknown
It's not that it's all going OK. And then about two or three weeks later, next thing I know, I'll be working with her doing the work next day. She's back home. She's back and she's fine. And the family is getting on with the family, and they're all having their arguments.

00;12;28;16 - 00;12;51;05
Unknown
And she's still in the same house the most, but she's fine. So I'm sick of seeing what's going on here, because this is this is not scientific at all. Hmm. But in a family, though, wanting to put it into a psychiatric in a psychiatric place, put on heaps of psychotropic medications, you know, pretty sure she would have

00;12;51;05 - 00;13;05;27
Unknown
died with that, too. So anyway, I kept on going and then we start seeing other people and I started clients who I worked with. I was asked, ask them, Would you like to do a psychic reading and surprise surprise, they all said yes.

00;13;06;26 - 00;13;26;24
Unknown
So we do a psychic reading, and something has a whole different story. But they all got well and was previous that I was keeping my clients for a long, long time because I've known clients for 20 years and suddenly I'm running out of clients.

00;13;27;14 - 00;13;46;15
Unknown
They don't need to see me anymore. They're all fixed. They're all happy. Right? Oh, sorry. This is this is really quite amazing. Right now, we've done that two hundreds. I've got 200 really great original stories in there, and some of them go back to Roman times like they go back then and all go back in past lives

00;13;46;21 - 00;14;07;20
Unknown
. Mm-Hmm. But you know, and I remember when we first started Maureen, it's a psychic medium and her first things, the first words were No, no, no, we don't do. We don't. We're not doing pass laws. No, I don't do pass laws that believe passed, look, OK, we're going to pass laws.

00;14;10;13 - 00;14;27;07
Unknown
And that was a God. Say, yes, you will. That's what you're going to do, anything we're doing. And so she pass laws and they've been different pass laws, anything they've ever, ever gotten. And so the readings that Maureen gives are very different than anything I've ever come across because these readings are saying what's going on now?

00;14;27;10 - 00;14;49;00
Unknown
This is what you most need to focus on. You need to focus right here. And I realize now that what that does is it is taking us to the exact original source. Sometimes that exact original source can be it can be 1000 years ago, many, many lifetimes ago, and people have often been suffering with this, doing it

00;14;49;00 - 00;15;11;21
Unknown
, doing it time and time again. Mm-Hmm. And so like, I don't know, that was all pretty amazing. I'm amazed by this. And then the God said, Robert, you got you need your own reading of our time. So I'll be stuck doing my reading task of the reading and writing down notes for everything and writing these notes.

00;15;11;21 - 00;15;32;09
Unknown
And suddenly it's hitting me. Whoa, whoa. Oh, I thought, what's going on here? And this? It was interesting because these and those five or six or seven past lives in there. And there's a reason for that. And all of these things that just kept coming at me, coming at me, and it would hit me because these were

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Unknown
about me and these resonated with me and all the rest of them hadn't because they were about the other person, do you know? And these ones resonate with me. And what I realized is. You know, I don't know.

00;15;45;21 - 00;16;02;07
Unknown
I was I wasn't just being. I've been trying to do this over many, many lifetimes because they've been told I'm a person who has to experience things to really get it well. I've had all these experiences of being in jail.

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Unknown
I've been burned at the stake and a pedophile being sexually abused, and I've been executed all this stuff in past. Lots of fun. But suddenly it starts to explain why I just know what's going on with people because I've experienced it in some states so well.

00;16;24;24 - 00;16;40;18
Unknown
And so yeah, and that and believe me, if you hadn't told me five years ago that, Rob, they're going to be sitting here talking to the I go on about about your experiences working with the site. We're working with a cyber psychic, a psychologist.

00;16;41;00 - 00;16;57;27
Unknown
I would have said, no way. How does I? But here I am. Hmm. And it's been the most amazing, accurate resource so that they come across further. Now I'm the only psychologist doing it. I don't think more out.

00;16;58;01 - 00;17;12;08
Unknown
She doesn't do what the other psychologist with me. So why we go into it, we're still developing it every time we think we've we've got it now, we move off because we thought we had passed laws. The next thing, you know, another fear.

00;17;12;22 - 00;17;21;04
Unknown
This is not the past life. This is a real life here. This is this. This is this is what you're going to focus on. And I just take it at face value and I just follow whatever they're going to.

00;17;21;08 - 00;17;34;02
Unknown
What are they going to focus on? Let's work with that. Let's start doing the writing this time applying the psychological principles to that. Yeah. And we get it and I realize what we're doing is we get in months.

00;17;34;10 - 00;17;51;27
Unknown
Well, what used to take months or even years? We do in the hours or days because it's we don't have to find the spot. We've got the spot. Hmm. So yeah, so that's that's been the most amazing thing is this that's what's come about, something that's happening right now.

00;17;52;19 - 00;18;15;21
Unknown
People do now because you've been you've been doing the you were practicing the other form of psychology, just straight psychology, what you're taught to traditional psychology for over 25 years. And yeah, was there a point where you just realized something here that we're taught in this traditional psychology method is just not working?

00;18;16;05 - 00;18;30;09
Unknown
Is that are you? Are you a religious person at all or was where was that point? No religion. Well, I don't believe it is a stress mode. My sister told the other day that I went to Sunday school, but sometimes I don't remember that.

00;18;31;01 - 00;18;47;02
Unknown
But at what price? Look, that's a very good question. I've got a feeling. I've always I've never really been religious, but I've always had this spiritual feeling about it. But I've never really known what it was, and I've never trusted or had the faith, and they've got that.

00;18;47;16 - 00;19;03;27
Unknown
Mm-Hmm. When Maureen went up, I don't know why. I don't know why I went there. Why the hell would I ask her? To do a really on somebody who's come in there with with mold, their with a problem, with mold, he's got obviously got a medical health problem.

00;19;03;28 - 00;19;25;14
Unknown
Why would I even bother? Yeah, but something that said, don't do it. So why would she say yes? But we did it, and the rest is history. But as I said, when I look back, I realize that. I used to run workshops a lot and and my note taking was never up to the good psychological standard.

00;19;26;15 - 00;19;41;05
Unknown
So it's just always just trusting the inner self. I always thought, doesn't matter. Whatever happens, something will come up, it'll be there. I could deal with it. And I'd say 95% of the time that was the case when it was not have to work hard.

00;19;42;17 - 00;20;03;06
Unknown
But when all is connected, it's easy when you're not connected. I found it really, really hard to work hard to read reader hard and really work hard and not get the result. So, you know, because when I first started as a psychologist, I was doing school reports of doing IQ tests and stuff about the left brain stuff

00;20;03;13 - 00;20;20;05
Unknown
. Yeah, I've done a lot of a lot of Family Court reports, a lot of legal reports for the magistrates and county courts. You know, and and that was all more left brain stuff. But somehow these pages work pretty well.

00;20;20;23 - 00;20;32;13
Unknown
I'm very confident now that no matter what comes up, then I'll be supported. Now I'll be able to handle it. So I don't worry about it. I never prepare for any situation now. You just go, I just know.

00;20;33;05 - 00;20;47;03
Unknown
I just go, you go. They got very little preparation for this. I'm just going with with with where it feels right to be talking. Yeah. And I think that's. I think authenticity is sort of missing in these fields.

00;20;47;29 - 00;21;08;29
Unknown
What what I gather and understand is people are just going to be authentic with themselves. And I feel that's that's why I find your work fascinating bringing bring having that psychological base of traditional psychology, but then adding this spirit to it.

00;21;08;29 - 00;21;35;11
Unknown
And as you said, you, uh, the people that you speak to seem to be getting better and they seem to be moving on where these days what what I find you can elaborate if it's true down there, traditional psychology is that these people are almost reliant on sitting on that chair and speaking to someone and venting for

00;21;36;04 - 00;21;56;29
Unknown
each session over and over and over and over and over and over and over again that I know people that truly rely on their psychologists like it's a ritual to be going there. And they, it seems like. The psychologist is getting some money out of it.

00;21;57;06 - 00;22;16;09
Unknown
And, you know, the person, I don't know what they're getting from it. They're venting, but not really going to the root and the source of the problem. That's why I find what you do fascinating. And it's amazing that you said that, that people are getting better and they are moving on with their lives and finding new truths

00;22;16;09 - 00;22;35;13
Unknown
and finding themselves. Have you did you find that on traditional psychology path that that was the case, that people just kept coming as a sort of ritual based, non-religious ritual based, just being there just to vent and just talk about the world that has got them stuffed in?

00;22;35;27 - 00;22;46;09
Unknown
Yeah, look, I'm very embarrassed to say that for that. For a long time, there were a number of people doing this. Not all the time, but there are a number of people doing a number of people who did that.

00;22;46;09 - 00;22;57;25
Unknown
And and I used to feel I find that really hard because it's the last thing I wanted to really do is to because you don't want to see people grow and develop. It feels really good for me, too.

00;22;58;02 - 00;23;23;23
Unknown
Yeah. But you know, and I know because I also did training as a marriage guidance counselor. Yeah. And I'll never forget that when you're working for marriage guidance counselor, I did watch three sessions suddenly and I put me in a room and this couple thought, Oh, fire, if this is real, I just have to go.

00;23;24;10 - 00;23;45;24
Unknown
I had no idea what I'm doing. Well, I realize boy, but guides come in there and they saved me that day. But it was a really weird way. The feeling and the interesting thing is that I keep on going back to relationships all the time because it's the biggest difficulty you have with relationships.

00;23;45;24 - 00;24;01;19
Unknown
But I love the marriage. Marriage counseling stuff you do. You do. Go, go, go. And then they break up with the rest of it. That's not all I really want. Yeah. And it's only when I could get to the exact primary cause you get close.

00;24;02;10 - 00;24;33;25
Unknown
But when you get to exactly one, when you go back and you find it how you like yourself, just try and think of a Cessna. I. Yeah. OK. This is one of my more interesting ones. Hmm. About about a guy that he was he was there and he was he really has some really big difficulties and he

00;24;33;28 - 00;24;52;21
Unknown
had difficulty because he was in the alcohol wine women song, all that sort of stuff. Yeah, really, really big, really, really big stuff. And quite seriously, he was drinking five celebs a week. Absolutely. And I said, Gee, that's a lot.

00;24;52;21 - 00;25;09;15
Unknown
He said, Oh, no, no, no. I had a drink about four and I think about twelve cans a night. It's on the weekends at 30 or 40 times only only twelve cans a night. My, that's horrible. It's absolutely extreme anyway.

00;25;10;19 - 00;25;31;00
Unknown
We did. We did some work on him as he did a past life and the past life went way, way, way back into into. Roman Times ran a senator and went back to Rome as senator and and in that Roman center, he senator, he was.

00;25;31;13 - 00;25;45;14
Unknown
He was invited to be invited to an orgy and he went. He went to an orgy and and things happened. Desiree decided never wanted to have anything more to do. With that again, so he went to a priest.

00;25;45;27 - 00;25;58;01
Unknown
So what's an orgy? It's an orgy orgy. Yeah. I was like, I was like, Okay, that's what I was thinking in my head. But then I was like, Is this a different word that I don't know, but yeah, I'm right with you.

00;25;58;01 - 00;26;21;15
Unknown
I'm right with you. No, no, I haven't. You did it. You did it. The very, very beautifully articulated why I love it. I love it. He was. He was absolutely tricked. Yes, he was tricked into into having a sexual encounter with a member of his family who didn't know were there because of Donald Trump.

00;26;21;16 - 00;26;36;17
Unknown
Wow. Yeah. Okay. So he he was in total total shame. So it goes off. It goes off. And he said, No, that's it. I'm out of here and I'm going to become a Christian. So I become a Christian and went over and he decided to confess to the priest.

00;26;37;04 - 00;26;58;25
Unknown
Mm hmm. And when he confessed the priest, the priest said, What you've done is beyond redemption and you are damned to the gates of hell forever. Right? And he still carry that. So okay, so we did a lot of that and we started and this is 2000 years later where they're writing these stories and at it, and

00;26;58;25 - 00;27;21;25
Unknown
it was so real. Mm hmm. To cut a long story short, it doesn't break now. All right. We got breaking news coverage, top breaking. Oh, is. So essentially, he went back and saw that had that realization and saw that himself, and then now he's he's essentially gone sober.

00;27;21;25 - 00;27;36;27
Unknown
It scared him in his soul that much, no little scare. He got to the primary root cause and able to accept, except that in himself. Yes, he was able to accept it in himself because that's the part of him.

00;27;37;09 - 00;28;00;02
Unknown
And suddenly he realizes he doesn't have to be damned to the gates of hell forever. He could let that go. And so I knew he was getting pretty good because he had given up drinking, he said. Just given up, you know, I only have a couple of one or two slaps a week down the West and improvements

00;28;00;02 - 00;28;23;02
Unknown
. Yeah, it's a massive improvement. Moderation, moderation, all about moderation. You know, I have a have a glass of red. You know, I don't drink beer too much, but a few glasses of red is always good. Do you do you find there's a root cause in all human nature that is more prevalent than others?

00;28;25;18 - 00;28;50;27
Unknown
I there is there is the. Actually, there's not a root cause, but there are certain strategies we're using which are more prevalent and will keep you stuck there. Right. So anything can sort of happen like this guy. You know, it's the only time I've come up with a root cause of where he's going and we're going way

00;28;50;27 - 00;29;08;11
Unknown
, way back to his past life, where he ends up having a sexual encounter with a member of his family. That doesn't happen often. It's not. It's not the last. Yeah. And there's other times when you know, and I've had two people with with with mold, for instance, and that both the times they've been, they've been stuck in

00;29;10;12 - 00;29;36;09
Unknown
in damp dungeons left to die would be infested by mold. But there's a lot of other ones. I've had people who have found out that they've they've they've been betrayed or they've betrayed the family. I'm talking with one father once and he had a Jew ideal as in sword fight in France and and he was killed and

00;29;36;09 - 00;29;59;07
Unknown
it was all set up by by the lady he is now. He's now in a relationship with somebody with me. Had this. It was at a jealousy problem. I could not would know what it is. Is that also dealt with because it's when you hit the primary root cause, the not close?

00;29;59;21 - 00;30;15;11
Unknown
Exactly. Yeah. And that's where that started. And he is his was his friend when he got stabbed in the 15th century in France. Now I know that sounds really weird. Certainly sounds weird to me. I've just grown to sign up.

00;30;15;15 - 00;30;30;26
Unknown
This is the way it works. So we'll do it. But look, but where people get stuck is and make themselves wrong makes themselves wrong. They make themselves wrong and and one of them makes themselves wrong. And then they try and make themselves wrong.

00;30;30;26 - 00;30;54;18
Unknown
They stop blaming people. Right? Well, stop blaming themselves. Well, let's start getting down them selves. Well, let's not hide yourselves. And when they can sort of own what they're doing, they're fine. They tend to let it go. I was talking to a lady at some stage and who she'd made a vow.

00;30;56;02 - 00;31;19;11
Unknown
She was in a past life year as a male, and she was a 17 year old male and she was she was in a relationship with a 16 year old female who was having a baby. And the 16 year old female died in childbirth, which is and so she lost the baby, lost the baby and and his

00;31;19;11 - 00;31;35;18
Unknown
wife. But he made a vow that he would he would never, ever forget. He would love her forever. Forever's a long time. Yeah. He didn't just say, I'm going to love you to believe they are going to die, that's fine, but I'm going to love you forever.

00;31;36;03 - 00;32;00;16
Unknown
So here we are five or 600 years later. And she's having all sorts of problems being in a relationship and and falling in love with anyone, why? Because she's still saying true. Well, that was a tie that you think it was sensible, except when we start processing it and she starts going back and remembers, as you remember

00;32;00;16 - 00;32;20;12
Unknown
herself as a 17 year old male and you could feel the distress and the love. But it was coming out and she still didn't want to let go of the 16 year old. Female, she didn't want to let go that at all, and they're still holding on she you're still being loyal.

00;32;20;29 - 00;32;38;01
Unknown
And that's okay. And then finally, you take time because it just takes time. And when she finally go, let's just try, she just felt relieved and her whole voice changed everything. She's amazing. And it was that was stopping.

00;32;38;02 - 00;32;51;16
Unknown
Well, that's why I'm saying it's the best thing I've ever done, because no one in the world I ever, ever, ever would have got to her primary root cause. But I did that. He did that. Now I've been working on that.

00;32;52;19 - 00;33;04;21
Unknown
She and I, we've known each other for 20 years, keeps coming back and we do another bit to another bit to another bit, but they keep coming back because it never quite is it? Pretty amazing stuff. Fascinating stuff.

00;33;05;19 - 00;33;19;03
Unknown
I'm blown away by it. Yeah, I'm blown away right here. Just just listening, imagining being being in in a room and having a discussion with it. Yeah, it's it's incredible. And like, did you did you have a question?

00;33;19;09 - 00;33;31;15
Unknown
So you took yeah, I was just going to say, I always hated yoga. I'm like, Oh, my, my soul contract like this. There must be something going on here when everybody, when I've said something like that, everyone's kind of looked at me as if I'm crazy.

00;33;31;15 - 00;33;52;05
Unknown
But the fact that you can sort of apply it with a, um, I guess, a rational thought basis as well and bring it into a way that. It can just be explained, I guess. So even if the initial recourse doesn't make sense, you've sort of found a way to.

00;33;53;03 - 00;34;06;15
Unknown
Yeah. Yes. Make it make doesn't like yeah. It makes no sense. No overlap at all. I know is just like was with me. You tell these people this thing, I'm thinking, Oh, yeah, this is not what they got.

00;34;06;23 - 00;34;24;02
Unknown
Oh, oh, oh, I didn't understand that until I had this reading and I'm going, Oh, oh, oh, this was about me. Mm hmm. For people that haven't done it, I want to get back to that particular, uh, the relationship in love forever.

00;34;24;05 - 00;34;51;02
Unknown
And, you know, being in Las is love. But that's from, you know, dealing with the courts, dealing with people from the traditional psychology, psychological sense, you know, for over over 25 years, you done it. Been in that mindset and then having the realization of this whole new spiritual space, which you felt you felt yourself.

00;34;51;02 - 00;35;12;27
Unknown
I think that's what I'm gathering. That's when you understood it. And then you were able to accept it for for people that you know, are listening and, you know, have never, you know, have never done this sort of work and have never gone back into their past lives or back to their childhood traumas to deal with things

00;35;12;27 - 00;35;31;01
Unknown
and to go forward in a better way. What what can they expect? What what did you find yourself when this all happened to you and you had to go from a traditional, you know, analytical brain to understanding a whole spiritual realm that does exist?

00;35;31;05 - 00;35;47;22
Unknown
Okay. In the beginning, it's terrifying. Mm hmm. Because you had no idea. And and if you spend all your life, blame yourself and make yourself wrong and say, You know what? I'm this bad person. I'm stuck here. I can't ever deal with this, and if I open up, it's going to make it worse.

00;35;48;05 - 00;36;11;03
Unknown
Hmm. So was terrifying stuff for me. It was anyway. Yeah. Once you get it, once you go in there and you and you open it up and you hit the primary root cause, it goes terrifying to traumatic, but only for a couple of seconds, only for a couple of second, a couple of minutes because it's in that

00;36;11;03 - 00;36;25;25
Unknown
trauma. That's the first time, by the way, I do it quite often now. The trauma is not there because I know what to expect. Yeah, because when you actually break through, you don't know what's going to happen. You just see it's like, Oh my God, with this going.

00;36;26;16 - 00;36;42;07
Unknown
The idea of sit back and say, Not just let go. Just go with the flow. Trust. Have faith in yourself. Trust yourself and let yourself be taken me. And so soft be taken there. And so I do a lot of spiritual writing.

00;36;42;28 - 00;36;54;27
Unknown
I write about things. I just like to watch my heart, you know, and and where anything goes. And I always burn the little afterwards because if I didn't burn the letters and someone can write to me, they put me away and never let me out.

00;36;55;04 - 00;37;11;24
Unknown
I read the letters. Read them. Yeah, some of them are just bizarre. Just absolutely bizarre. And you remember when you when I write a letter, I read it out loud to myself, or to my wife or to the mirror.

00;37;12;05 - 00;37;24;06
Unknown
And when you read out loud, you think right away it was tough that you read, that matters even tougher. Mm-Hmm. And then I did it one day I'll read that out again. I might get bored of it. Not easy.

00;37;24;29 - 00;37;41;09
Unknown
Once you read aloud, it's gone and I'm starting to feel a bit relaxed and that's what's going on here. Oh, Rob, you look different. Yeah, what's happened? I don't know. Hey, you feel good. Well, I don't know what I don't know.

00;37;41;21 - 00;37;58;09
Unknown
Just try to work some more of it on the side. What are you talking about? You know, but how can we not argue it, darling says my what? Why don't we? That's always the case, isn't it? Yeah, to too.

00;37;58;19 - 00;38;23;02
Unknown
You have to question it. Well, well, here's to what's happened the other night. I thought it was your fault. But you know, darling, I'm the psychologist. I'm the relationship expert. I know it was your fault, but I never, ever won an argument saying that, by the way, I never, never won any argument after the show, and I'm

00;38;23;08 - 00;38;37;16
Unknown
just feeling better and feeling pretty authentic. And really, you know, I mean, to myself now, the challenge is some of the things I say to people now is, are you in love with yourself? Well, what a question that is.

00;38;38;16 - 00;38;51;21
Unknown
If you asked me that ten years ago, I say, off you go walk out of the room. But now I can say I'm in love with myself. What's what was in love based on intimacy? I'm intimately connected with those.

00;38;51;22 - 00;39;07;21
Unknown
I would like an intimately connect. And it doesn't matter what I find down there, I find that I've got nothing. I don't hold any grudges against puzzles, you know? Good. What is the difference between being in love and having love?

00;39;09;17 - 00;39;32;04
Unknown
A question I'm glad you asked. I've worked with quite a lot of people who in relationships and they've had, they've separated and divorced, and it's been a really wonderful civil separation divorce, though they get out and they become really great supportive parents and they work pretty well with each other.

00;39;32;06 - 00;39;47;08
Unknown
So a few arguments, but you know, something goes wrong. You know, I'm having problems with problems here because someone doesn't. Well, some of the other day that said, you are lost. I lost a very dear close family friend and her ex-husband comes in.

00;39;47;09 - 00;40;01;04
Unknown
Don't worry, I'll take the kids you look after. You're going to do it. You're going to do. And I have these wonderful sort of thing. And the point is they've never been in love. They've loved each other and they're like brother and sister, and they're really good and they have these great great partnerships.

00;40;01;19 - 00;40;15;21
Unknown
But there's really been in love the way you get people who have a have a really nasty divorce and they and they went on to kill and destroy. That's because I'd been in love and they're fighting not to be in love anymore.

00;40;16;20 - 00;40;36;16
Unknown
They're fighting to be out of love. Now the difference is when you're in love with someone, you're intimately, intimately there. And it's like they've got the answers that you need and you've got the answers they need. And what you see in them is you, you see yourself, and what they see in you is themselves.

00;40;37;01 - 00;40;56;22
Unknown
And when they start to say you are doing this to me, you'll stop blaming each other. They are stuck and they get stuck. In this in love, really crap stuff going spiraling down, down, down, down, down, down, and I can't reach out to each other, go with people who just love each other, they don't get like that

00;40;57;29 - 00;41;11;21
Unknown
. If they just love each other, they they tend to be able to work things out. And and it's and you sit there and say, Wow, if they get on so well, why? Why should they ever be separated? Because they get on so well now.

00;41;12;26 - 00;41;30;10
Unknown
It's because when you're in love, it's you're in love. first, it's going to take you more intimately deeper into yourself than a loving person, both because they matter so much. They got to take it right into the primary, and they're not going to let you go until you actually really resolve it for yourselves.

00;41;30;27 - 00;41;47;15
Unknown
And when you resolve yourselves and often stuff's been around there for years and years and years and right the childhood and often back into family generations or probably in your past lives or whatever. But it's stuff that you've got to really get there and get the primary cause and deal with it.

00;41;47;16 - 00;42;06;19
Unknown
We're in love in love is like a brother or sister. Have to go there, really. And the other, the next level up, I suppose, is just friends and acquaintances. Yeah. Yeah, they you know, you can have a really great lifelong friendship with acquaintance, but you start to live together.

00;42;06;24 - 00;42;26;13
Unknown
You go to another level of intimacy, doesn't work so well, and in love means you go to a deeper level of intimacy and compared with just loving someone. So I often say to people, you know, if you mean we just love each other fine, but if you're in love, if you've been in love, you're not going to

00;42;26;13 - 00;42;40;29
Unknown
have a nice breakup at all. And basically, you shouldn't break up because in love, people usually end up and can't find someone else to be in love with. The same thing happens. Right? So they just keep on going round and round, round and round and round.

00;42;41;27 - 00;42;54;05
Unknown
Not always with a laugh, either. A lot of people are being a separate. And they do do the past life stuff, and I do go right, it would they do get in there and then they're happily living happily ever after.

00;42;54;06 - 00;43;07;11
Unknown
Thank you very much and it's great because I got it. And once they get at once, they keep going from strength to strength to strength because they start dealing with it more and more and more. And it's a deep and deeper things.

00;43;07;19 - 00;43;30;10
Unknown
And it's is it about dealing with things with each other or do you sort of need to have that time to yourself? And what should you should you should you develop with someone? Or is it? If you don't know yourself, can you successfully?

00;43;31;21 - 00;43;51;26
Unknown
Be in love with another person and accept them for who they are. Yes, you can, but it's going to develop anyway. You see, a happy relationship is moving from problem, the problem to problem resolved, resolve resolved to keep on going further and further.

00;43;52;11 - 00;44;07;13
Unknown
Happy people are going forward and going forward means of dealing with my dealing with the problems and in any relationship. At the end of the day, it's about you. You and only you and that person across that person is the trigger.

00;44;07;24 - 00;44;23;26
Unknown
You look at. You look at them. I try to look at her. Wow. You make me feel so bad, it's just your fault. I feel like this when I'm with you, so I'm leaving. Get out. Go, go, go.

00;44;23;28 - 00;44;36;23
Unknown
We got split up and that's it. And suddenly that far we right. And then the way the universe has, it doesn't let you get away with anything. So it throws you together with someone else and you get this someone else.

00;44;36;23 - 00;44;55;25
Unknown
And before you know it, body different thing. But it's coming up again. Same thing. I'm feeling the same. Oh my god. Hell, I'm lucky I saw I when I married my second boss. How I'm lucky. This is just as bad as the first one.

00;44;58;12 - 00;45;14;27
Unknown
And what's more, it's worse. Well, I got lucky. And that's when my dear Watson now said, Let's go and do a bit of personal development work. And I thought, No, I don't need that. I'm a Sakho's. Let's go to some post.

00;45;15;14 - 00;45;32;15
Unknown
Okay, we'll try that. So we spent the next four or five years doing a lot of very, very deep personal development work, and it was a very spiritual man, too. And then we were able to deal with stuff that I'd never, ever been able to deal with before.

00;45;34;00 - 00;45;45;28
Unknown
I still would like to say that every for every fight we ever had back then and even now is all totally her fault because it gives me great pleasure to say that, and she's not here to argue against it.

00;45;45;28 - 00;46;09;22
Unknown
So that's that sort of keeps me going, you know, love. So yeah, it's all good now. I'm so I got my shit together. Yeah, I I'm always, always trying to be right in our relationship. I think I think most of the time I'm very much wrong, but I don't want to let her know that.

00;46;09;22 - 00;46;27;03
Unknown
But you know, she's she's here and she's listening. She definitely understands what I'm saying. So what's the what's the side you want to be right or happy? Yes. Yes, I want to be the right person on now, but I'm not.

00;46;27;04 - 00;46;43;12
Unknown
I'm that just it's essentially I've grown a lot during these, these time, this whole pandemic experience. I feel like, um, people's conscience have gone to a higher level. You can be wise, you can be smart, you can be intelligent.

00;46;43;12 - 00;47;09;29
Unknown
But that doesn't really mean your conscience of yourself and your conscience of your awareness and the people that you're surrounded with, which I think the positivity out of what's going on is that we have been thrown into this very spiritual whirlwind, and I'm I'm definitely grateful that we're on the same page and on a lot of things

00;47;10;08 - 00;47;38;08
Unknown
. And it's it's also great to its people during this time. And that's why I think your work is very, very important people. A lot of people, especially our demographic, always, you know, the whole thing is go have a be go, go party, go have one night stands and enriched themselves with an unfulfilling life, which isn't rich at

00;47;38;08 - 00;48;02;04
Unknown
all. So when for these, for these people that, uh, for our younger listeners that, um, you know, are looking for something more? They feel that they're not satisfied, they're not too happy with the the people that they're surrounded with, possibly, and they feel like there is, you know, if you let them go, you're going to feel all

00;48;02;04 - 00;48;18;22
Unknown
alone and there's no other way for those people. What's your advice for them? Right. There is one strategy, one strategy, which works with a lot of other strategy, which would work. But if you don't do this one is not condoning what you do.

00;48;18;22 - 00;48;36;20
Unknown
It won't work. Mm-Hmm. And that strategy is you listen. You listen to your partner and it's the most honoring thing you can do and you listen with them, and when you listen to things you can't do at the same time and that is listen and talk.

00;48;38;02 - 00;48;57;10
Unknown
So you listen and you make sure you're listening and you go into their world. Yeah, you hear what they're saying and they might say things are and often they're going to be saying the biggest load of crap about you ever since and you're going to really want to come in and defend yourself.

00;48;57;17 - 00;49;12;18
Unknown
Yes, that's that's your stuff. That's not this. If you're listening to them, that's what they're that's their world and that's what they need to say. So listen, let them go. They can talk. And you just sit there and just let them go.

00;49;12;22 - 00;49;28;16
Unknown
Most people do not listen, very few people have had the experience of being well listened to and the I go, if you're like this, like you are now in your relationship with the lovely lady of your life, then you don't have a problem.

00;49;30;06 - 00;49;49;25
Unknown
Because no matter what you're doing, you're listening and you're honoring that lady, that person you're honoring her to because it's the most honoring thing, the most dishonorable thing you can do is to be trying to work out how you got to respond as it's still talking to be interrupting them.

00;49;50;01 - 00;50;05;11
Unknown
Yes. Yes, you know. Mhm. Let them listen. Let them talk it through and what they'll what people do when they listen and it through. Now he himself. And they do the heal themselves, you don't feel they'll heal themselves.

00;50;06;10 - 00;50;17;19
Unknown
Some of the best sessions of the had. People's comebacks in our last session was massive show that was really good. But I said nothing. Oh, I didn't know that. I just I just don't talk about the stuff. I really need to talk about it.

00;50;17;19 - 00;50;31;21
Unknown
Not any not talked about. I got it because I'm really listening. And then they're exactly the same. I'm not just not just pretending with them all the way up in their world, it's like my world doesn't matter. They will does.

00;50;32;29 - 00;50;45;28
Unknown
And when you do that? You and your pub, that's how you and your partner work together because they work out this stuff and they listen to you and you work out your stuff. Mm. And very often you don't even have to respond to each other.

00;50;46;01 - 00;51;00;17
Unknown
And sometimes people do. But if you listen long enough, they will go off responding to it, and I'll start talking about what they really need to talk about. Yeah. Well, what I know is you just don't listen to me at all.

00;51;00;20 - 00;51;11;02
Unknown
I get it. I'm really I'm really where I look at you just like my father was, because when I was a kid, my father used to listen and you know, and I worked with my mother and with with me.

00;51;11;02 - 00;51;25;22
Unknown
And I remember a time when he did this, this, this this. And suddenly they've gone into this stuff because you've listened and you've empowered them to go there. Mm hmm. That's intimacy that's in love. That's what in love does.

00;51;26;25 - 00;51;47;21
Unknown
Whereas when you're just loving each other, often you just never, ever go back into that deep stuff. So but that's if there's one strategy the most powerful strategy you can do. That's the one. Just listen a little to each other.

00;51;47;24 - 00;52;08;14
Unknown
And the thing is, as you're listening. Then you're also earning the right to be listened to and then you say right on, you know, I'll stop. Or let's say you're you, you're listening to your to your partner and and you're finished.

00;52;11;14 - 00;52;24;08
Unknown
You're listening to Pat, and then she finished and then you start talking, then she comes and says, Yeah, but hang on, hang on. I listened to you. That'll kill us. Yeah, that'll kill her. Yes, you did. I. So you now ought to listen to me.

00;52;24;24 - 00;52;45;24
Unknown
Yes. And it works for everyone. Yes. It's such a simple little thing. But it really and truly works like you would not believe it's just it's about the most powerful. And people say, Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I don't know.

00;52;45;25 - 00;53;04;24
Unknown
It's because they got us on this, you said. But all I want to say is, Yes, you go. I love it. And it definitely. And it is. It is an incredible, incredibly hard at times to do. It does sound like a simple thing, but it is hard and I do agree with that.

00;53;04;24 - 00;53;29;12
Unknown
You put things in equal playing field if you allow that time to listen and evidently will just allow the spirit to align a lot more. And just before I let you go on saying busy man, I just want to touch base on blame versus responsibility.

00;53;29;12 - 00;53;49;15
Unknown
I've heard you speak about that before in a relationship and what? What are the how can you take responsibility and how can you differentiate the blame between you and your partner when you're in a relationship with one another?

00;53;49;15 - 00;54;14;21
Unknown
How can you how can we step back and assess the situation and say, You know what, I'm I'm having a go at you for something that I should completely take accountability for. Yes. Yeah. Good one. The first thing is if you're if you're doing the blame stuff and I've never yet ever seen anyone blame anyone to happiness

00;54;15;13 - 00;54;29;27
Unknown
. Hmm. It's just a kiss. Can't go there. If you're really going to blame, you're going to take yourself. Not necessarily until you take yourself into depression down, down, down into depression. And that's not a good place to go.

00;54;30;10 - 00;54;45;04
Unknown
That's that's, you know, that's the gun below the line and you'll stay there. And so responsibility, people often say, Oh, OK, so I say, we'll be responsible. OK, I'll be responsible. Right, darling, it's my fault. It's my own.

00;54;45;28 - 00;55;04;10
Unknown
But you're blaming someone else. So I won't take responsibility for my life. Yeah. Well, I'm not sure if it's no one's fault. It just is. You want. You want to blame somebody fine, but if you want to blame yourself, that's okay, but you're still copping out because you're going to take responsibility.

00;55;04;15 - 00;55;24;29
Unknown
What what do you got control of? And you may know what is in your control. Well, I can't control it, yes, but in any conversation, what can you control? Well, I can. I can control what I say. Absolutely, you can.

00;55;25;05 - 00;55;39;00
Unknown
You got control of that. And I can control what I hear them do. You can you stop there? You listen to you. You can control how you listen. I can control whether I stay or go. Good. So you can control that.

00;55;39;01 - 00;55;58;18
Unknown
You can say they serve you. If you do that, if you want to take control. You can stay there. You can talk in a way which is what you need to talk, which is going to get there. And you can, you know, it's not aggressive, but generally speaking and and you can you can talk by not blaming

00;55;58;18 - 00;56;14;19
Unknown
and then staying in, you know, being accountable. That's all those things you don't show up. You can take responsibility for that. Mm-Hmm. But if you can't, no something, you can't take responsibility for that. That is your partner's responsibility.

00;56;15;20 - 00;56;29;12
Unknown
So whatever your policies, you don't have to take that. You don't. You dare say that. Forget it. But I can say that. Mm-Hmm. And if I'm I'm a I got a feeling I'm going around circles. Is this clear enough?

00;56;29;29 - 00;56;52;03
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah, you, you get to see. You're essentially there's two things. There's control, yes. And there's as responsibility. Take responsibility. 100% responsibility for everything you've got control over. Yeah. If you haven't got control, then or they get control or gives responsibility, though, that those who have does, yeah, go ahead.

00;56;52;11 - 00;57;19;04
Unknown
I think one of the things that I mean, for me personally, that's been the most challenging going through sort of a self-development thing. Um yep. Is sort of a confusion around what responsibility is. So how you explain that about, you know, taking responsibility for what's in control, not taking responsibility for the whole situation is really, really good

00;57;19;04 - 00;57;35;19
Unknown
to know how to differentiate the two. So this is the problem with listening. Sometimes people ask you a question to lot troubles with. Yeah, I've never been asked that question before. What a bummer. I thought you were a nice girl.

00;57;41;03 - 00;58;04;18
Unknown
Oh God. Good look. Responsibility is is owning it and being accountable for it. Yeah. And sort of saying, OK, I did it and. Forgiving yourself for it. Hmm. Yes. Yes. If I stuffed up, oh look, you went and told you and told that little kid to get stuff.

00;58;05;05 - 00;58;18;05
Unknown
You know, I didn't mean to. No, but you did. Yeah, I did. I did, I did, I did, so I'm not I'm not blaming myself for it, I'm not blaming or so I'm just saying, yes, I did that.

00;58;18;23 - 00;58;32;09
Unknown
I told that little kid to go and get stuffed. And yeah, really, that's not my operation to do that. And it's because of that experience, because of Angus. You probably won't do it again. Yeah. So I guess. But if you're still.

00;58;33;05 - 00;58;50;09
Unknown
So I guess it's also sort of like taking a responsibility without judgment now, would you? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, no. No judgment and no self does, because most people fail in loving themselves. Mm hmm. So you don't, you know, because let's face it.

00;58;51;29 - 00;59;12;04
Unknown
Is there ever a time? We're not doing the very best you can to be happy? Yes. Without knowing. Yes. Yes, without knowing. But none of us deliberately. No. No, no. So we're all for. And so if you step up gets, guess what?

00;59;12;04 - 00;59;24;28
Unknown
We're going to learn here. Yeah. If you don't make the mistakes. So I know a lot of people who never make mistakes that don't go anywhere. Yeah, they just they go and they're they're boring with a capital s, I'll tell you.

00;59;27;02 - 01;00;03;22
Unknown
Yeah. Hmm. And driving, driving through that, uh, the mistakes. We we have a, uh, high suicide male population in Australia, just to put it absolutely bluntly. Um yeah. What drives? Because you see people in relationships and still suicide, you see people in amazing jobs, still suicide, you see people that seem to have it all together.

01;00;04;00 - 01;00;27;01
Unknown
Still, suicide. What what is it about the brain? What is the breaking point and. It's what can people do if they do feel that low? OK. Can I ask you a question, you're the lady of the Abbey on the side that sets you apart?

01;00;27;24 - 01;00;49;22
Unknown
Have you guys been together? We've been together since about you, really. You really put me on the spot there, didn't you? We've been together for since October. We met each other in October, almost years. Almost two years, mostly.

01;00;50;03 - 01;01;14;12
Unknown
And I sit in Everlast area and I'm OK. And so you guys, I gather, have difficulties coming up. Yeah. No. two ways about that. You've probably had a few anyway, but you will definitely have some problems and you probably you feel you've grown and developed stage being together and you're now 1,000%.

01;01;14;18 - 01;01;27;13
Unknown
Yeah. Thousand. Right. And then there would have been a time when you had a problem and you guys got the stage and thought off, but I don't know what to do here, and you just stay together anyway. Hmm.

01;01;28;06 - 01;01;42;19
Unknown
Yes. And suddenly it just comes good. I wouldn't say I couldn't see how this could possibly happen, but now it can happen. Mhm. Because my mindset back then couldn't see the future. They couldn't see what the possibilities were.

01;01;43;16 - 01;01;57;26
Unknown
But somehow we stayed together. We just talked with our. And suddenly something clicked. You don't go to sleep at night, you wake up. The more you think, Oh, I feel different. Yeah, I feel different. This is this this this this person next to me.

01;01;58;06 - 01;02;20;05
Unknown
Oh, I thought she was a real shit last night, but actually, she's actually our type. Oh, wow, she's changed. No, she hasn't. You've tried a study and you've tried because you're seeing a different, more highly evolved part of yourself now with suicide, people with person suicide.

01;02;20;17 - 01;02;32;11
Unknown
They get to that stage where they can't see the future. They can't see how they can possibly have a breakthrough. They can't see how they can possibly ever do it. So they say, that's it. There is no answer here.

01;02;33;10 - 01;02;54;25
Unknown
It is now hopeless. There's no way forward. I can't go forward. I'm out of here. And so they top themselves. Mm hmm. And they do it the the is it a cyber society or is it a society? Is it's?

01;02;55;28 - 01;03;13;16
Unknown
Well, it is the pressure's on now because you have people losing businesses, losing jobs, and you had people losing farms, and so the triggers are there and there will rest with that. And the trigger certainly are there and there's people having to sustain great loss and there's often no way around.

01;03;15;20 - 01;03;31;16
Unknown
Not sustaining those losses. And so they feel pretty bad because they've been identifying with themselves of this loss. I am who I am because I have a tin sounds like a farm and now I'm losing my farm and my whole family had this farm and now his me, I'm about to lose it.

01;03;31;19 - 01;03;46;09
Unknown
Oh my God, how terrible is this? And often they do lose. And I would rather die than hang around and be blamed for losing the farm, right? Because I know they'll blame themselves. And in fact, I have no way out.

01;03;47;20 - 01;04;04;18
Unknown
But the way ahead is I can turn around or I can turn around and say, OK, I'm just going to say, fine, go on. And I might go through through, you know, six months or months or twelve months of feeling pretty, pretty bloody awful.

01;04;05;24 - 01;04;22;04
Unknown
But then I pull myself up and the the what the what the research shows is the ones that have attempted suicide and haven't succeeded. The prognosis I do very, very well with their life because they've hit rock bottom.

01;04;22;26 - 01;04;38;00
Unknown
They've hit rock bottom where they couldn't see a way out. But what they did is they hit rock bottom of that particular mindset. And they can't go any further for the Muslims, acceded to the place where they can't go any further forward.

01;04;38;11 - 01;04;57;20
Unknown
People look on to us being a father is not as often a success. Why state? Why stick a stick on this temple of 10,000 acre farm? When you've got this something inside you that wants to be better, you really want to grow and develop into personally, and you really want some challenges to deal with on this farm

01;04;57;20 - 01;05;10;23
Unknown
. It's like falling off a log. So prideful people, they're all the all the stuff that runs itself. All the fences are good. Everything's everything's fine. I come from a farm, by the way. I guess you wouldn't do to guess that I did.

01;05;13;05 - 01;05;33;01
Unknown
I use something to look the best. It's just it's that connection. I knew it. Reflection of you. And you know, and look for me because I can find one that sent all this abuse and thought, Well, okay, dad, you might fun you this farm.

01;05;33;01 - 01;05;46;14
Unknown
I'm sure you did, but I'm not sure I'm going to have fun the same fun as you. I've got other things about this. So I went left and the disgusting thing become a psychologist. You never quite understood that.

01;05;46;22 - 01;06;05;17
Unknown
Actually, I didn't either. But. But it's it's what you've got to do is is allow yourself to upgrade your mindset. And in that new mindset, you are now much more capable of doing things. You can do things bigger and better than you've ever ever been capable of before.

01;06;06;02 - 01;06;17;12
Unknown
You're into a new, you can take a new life. That life is there. It's finished. You've done it. You've learned by it. Let's get it for everybody you find who's really made a big are really going well in life.

01;06;17;20 - 01;06;33;09
Unknown
They've all had a suicide moment in their life. Hmm. How long now? I'm personally not suicidal at all, myself. Yeah. But boy, I'll sit there and say I've met with to my wife once as a boy, if ever I was suicidal, if I was going to suicide.

01;06;33;24 - 01;06;54;05
Unknown
Now would be the time. Yeah, I just did, because I didn't. I didn't have that. And yeah, so it's so it's an illusion and you can't go further. You could always go further. There's always a way forward. But it's going to call on you to be more than you are now.

01;06;54;13 - 01;07;16;16
Unknown
Mhm. And illusions, things I can't be that. And I'll say crap. You can. Otherwise you would be in this spot right now. You can't go forward. But are you willing to take the courage to be courageous enough? Are you willing to let yourself allow yourself to be taken to the next level?

01;07;16;26 - 01;07;37;28
Unknown
And believe me, you want know where that is? Oh, shock horror stories. Emotion. Don't go there. You don't know what's going to happen. Don't worry, I'm just going to go. Just let it go. Mm hmm. I remember I talked to a guy, once you you know, three things about suicide, there's the ideation, there's there's the means and

01;07;37;28 - 01;07;52;04
Unknown
there's a plan. He had the three of them, and he was in the process of separating his, his wife was leaving him and he was just besotted with her anyway. Yes. And you had a girl who had it all worked out.

01;07;52;22 - 01;08;06;29
Unknown
It'll work that he was going to go on suicide and no one would ever know that. Never the same. Anyway, we work got him out of that, worked with him out of it, and now he's having the best relationship with his kids he's ever, ever had.

01;08;07;00 - 01;08;24;19
Unknown
He didn't think it was impossible. And, you know, and because he's now grown up and become that post he's letting go of his wife is his just doesn't want to be with him anymore, and he's letting go of being so totally dependent, relying on her, you know?

01;08;24;25 - 01;08;41;00
Unknown
And yes. Yeah, no. I'll call him. I'll call him. When I call him my colleague Ben, I'll call him his wife, Gail. And yes, Ben. I just think there is life after Gail. But up until then, he claimed he thought there wasn't.

01;08;42;00 - 01;09;00;06
Unknown
Did a reading on immuno. He's the interesting thing. He's so sad about it, ten, twelve times the mother lives in the past. Well, when it wasn't. And he was. And because each time you sort of come back and do it again, come back and do it again, come back and do it again.

01;09;01;22 - 01;09;17;25
Unknown
And now you don't have to come back and do it again because he's got it. He's now an independent person that he's really got a really great relationship with his kids, and he can have a great message if his wife, if she wants, if she's willing to own it, and if she does, she will be much better

01;09;17;25 - 01;09;34;26
Unknown
off, too. But that's up to them. There seems to be a lot around attachment. Yes, and some people and ideology in it, so as soon as you can sort of let that go and accept to what it is, that seems to be the breakthrough point.

01;09;35;20 - 01;09;57;14
Unknown
And you find and you find once you break through that point, you will find calmness and stillness. You whatever whatever is thrown at you. After that, you you've been to the darkest places of your mind. There is nothing materialistic or in general that will be thrown at you without you having that calmness to push through it because

01;09;57;14 - 01;10;13;19
Unknown
you've already beaten the worse and the worse thoughts you can possibly have. The book is not even timeless. Sometimes it's absolute stupidity. But whatever you do, if you've got to do something, yeah, yeah. You know, look your lady on the flight.

01;10;13;24 - 01;10;22;13
Unknown
She probably is a pretty face, but she's not just a pretty face because she made a lot of a lot of good, a lot of good sincere in saying it's about a test, but it's what you get attached to and can't let go of.

01;10;23;23 - 01;10;41;08
Unknown
Because if you want to grow and develop, it comes the time. I've never thought of this before, but this is a good one in suicide. It's time to let go of that. So they go the test when you got there, so they can go forward and and move, move somewhere else because sometimes some things just aren't worth

01;10;41;08 - 01;10;59;29
Unknown
bringing with you. Mm. They're just not worth being with you. Mhm. Amazing, Robert. Robert, thank you. Thank you. So please let us let us know where everyone can, where they can follow you and find you, because the work that you do is is truly amazing.

01;10;59;29 - 01;11;20;03
Unknown
And I thank you for doing it and mixing the two together. Traditional psychology and the spiritual side into traditional psychology and using different techniques is an absolute must and an absolute must for this time period of ours. And it really seems like you're a pioneer in this space.

01;11;20;04 - 01;11;36;24
Unknown
I haven't really come across someone that is doing the two or has the background knowledge that you do and the history that you do in moving into the area that you're in now. So where can everyone find you and where can they get in touch?

01;11;37;17 - 01;11;51;18
Unknown
Look, I'm going to on my website. There's a contact page in there. They can go to the website. They'll be in the fourth. Yep. Yeah. I'd also kind of give my phone number. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Up to you.

01;11;51;23 - 01;12;08;13
Unknown
So this just you give me. Give it a call on them. 0404053324. That's that's the easiest, easiest way to find me at home. If I don't answer the phone just to leave a message and I'll get back to you soon as I can.

01;12;09;11 - 01;12;23;13
Unknown
Or I've got another one called Robert Hillier at Macomb, too. That's an email address. Perfect. Hillier, by the way, is not out of the blue eye and your website just for the listeners that won't go in the description.

01;12;23;13 - 01;12;42;02
Unknown
Sometimes we do have those listeners in and that sort of eyesight, TTP, all that stuff, I think, is it's Robert Hillier dot com dot IU perfect. But I are perfect. I are not here. Yeah, excellent. Robert, guys. A different guy.

01;12;44;18 - 01;13;01;15
Unknown
Robert, thank you so much for your time. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you. Oh, thank you very much. And can I say that this is a professional opinion? You and your lovely lady, they're very nice people. You, sir.

01;13;01;16 - 01;13;16;05
Unknown
You thank you. Hopefully, we do this face to face as soon as you know, this entire pandemic situation is over. I love to love to. OK. Pleasure. Thank you so much. And see you see the movie I got.

01;13;16;05 - 01;13;21;12
Unknown
That's all I ever did. Yeah, objective. And.

TF8T ep#79: Robert Hilliar (The Mind with 40 year Psychology vet)
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